The Model for Healthy Parenting

Face it parenting is an extremely stressful task – mentally, physically and emotionally.

Those who take care of children are generally on 24/7, sometimes with little help. Parenting, as many find out, is a physically and emotionally draining task that takes a major toll.  That toll is personal and it affects your relationship.

Parents go through periods of stress and anxiety, no matter the age or the needs of the children.  If you are a parent, honestly answer the following questions to determine if you might be under some level of stress. 

• Do you feel you don't have any time left over for yourself?
• Do you regularly wish you could leave the care of your kids to someone else?
• Do you think your relationship has been negatively affected because of parenting?
• Do you feel your health has been compromised because of parenting?

Stress like that endured by parents can lead to many problems such as:

• Depression and Anxiety
• Relationship difficulties
• Physical injury
• Increased risk of drug or alcohol abuse
• Decreased immune system functions leading to illnesses

The stress of parenting takes a toll on body, mind and spirit.  In order to be good caretakers and partners, it is vital parents not neglect their own physical, mental or emotional health. 

You can take charge of your own health every day by using a few strategies for relief.  The good news is you model great self care to your kids, and you'll have a healthier relationship with your spouse.  Here is a model to nurture your own body, spirit and soul (they spell “THE MODEL”):

1. Time for you: Find time for yourself daily even if only 5 minutes stretches.  Go outside.  Pray.  Meditate. Watch T.V. Read.  Take 5-minutes for yourself as often as possible throughout the day.  Ask your partner to watch and keep the kids while you take time for yourself.
2. Help is required: Don't be afraid to ask for help.  Most people are more than willing to help, but are afraid to imply you can't do it yourself.  Find and utilize a good babysitter often.  You can't and shouldn't do it all on your own - not and do it well.
3. Enjoy something daily: Read, write, pray, paint, draw, make Zentangles – do something that brings you joy and relief –  and do it every day without fail.
4. Move daily: Do at least 15 minutes of walking, yoga, dancing, stretching… anything that helps your body, mind, and spirit decompress.
5. Outside is calling: Every day go outdoors, even for a few minutes – open windows, sit on your porch, walk in the yard, check the gardens, smell the flowers – fresh air can be invigorating!
6. Don’t forget yourself:  Take care of yourself, your body, and health.  Eat well-balanced and nutritious meals, take your vitamins, and drink lots of water every day.  Get at least 5-8 hours of sleep every night.  Schedule naps when your child naps.
7. Elevate your mood: Find something to smile or laugh about every day.  Humor and smiling are healing.
8. Listen to your self: Don't ignore that aching back or a growing depression. Don't push your body to the limit. If something is wrong, get it taken care of before it becomes something worse.

Remember, raising children offers a sense of accomplishment and pride, but it also takes its toll in many ways.  As the parent, when you practice stress relief measures and try to stay as active as possible you'll feel better about yourself, you children, your spouse, and your life.  Your whole family deserves that good feeling.

Your courageous work is to use "the model" to gather energy and inspiration.  Choose this model to be healthy and show your children what healthy looks like.  Use this model so you can be a better parent and spouse.  

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