The phrase that jumped out at me was "remembrance of all saints, known and unknown." This day is meant to celebrate every saint even if we don't know they existed- even if they were never canonized by the Church.
You don't have to understand what that means to learn something from it. The take away is you can celebrate even things you don't know about. In your relationship it means celebrating the good you do for each other even when the other doesn't know or recognize it.
I've lost track of the number of times one spouse shares something in my office and the other says, "I never realized you were doing that." Often it is a poignant moment because the giver has been trying to make things better in a way their spouse didn't see.
Too often you get caught up in the things that need to be "fixed" or "different"; how about recognizing what is going well every moment of the day. How can you change to be more positive?
How about talking to each other about the things you feel you are doing for the relationship and each other? That's a great way to make the unknown obvious. Don't be shy or critical, just share how you are working on the relationship. Talk about what you've been doing and listen to what your partner shares in return. Celebrate the known and unknown work that has been happening.
Like All Saints Day, have an All Good Work Day for your relationship- that's your courageous work.
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