How do you eat an Elephant?

Have you ever given a long emotional and deep explanation of what you are upset about to your partner?  And then had them seem to ignore or miss a large chunk of it?

Have you ever felt your ears shut down while listening to an extended "discussion" (translate "monologue") about the problems your partner sees in the relationship?  No matter how hard you are trying to listen?

In either of these circumstances, did you feel like you and your partner truly connected?

I bet not.

That's because one person didn't keep it short and sweet.  Short means to the point in less than five sentences (and not run on sentences!)  Sweet means in a clean non-attacking way that can be digested (not sicky sweet, just respectful.) 

Unfortunately, when couples get disconnected, one partner may think it is helpful to "talk it all out" at once.  Let me tell you, it isn't healthy nor helpful.  No one can process everything in a big gulp like that.

To illustrate I have a simple question for you - how do you eat an elephant?

You can eat an elephant, but how?  The answer is: one bite at a time.  In other words, you don't try to swallow it whole!

That's how you need to approach your discussions with your partner; take one bite and deal with that bite in a short session.  Make sure it is clearly taken care of and understood (swallowed) before going for the next bite.  Stop overwhelming your partner by making them try to swallow the elephant whole.  Keep your speaking short and sweet.

Your simple courageous work: eat that elephant one bite at a time. 

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