Real Religion and Relationships aren't Retaliatory

original image here

There is a lot of chatter about the pastor who wants to burn the Koran.  I don't want to give the man one more iota of press time, but it lead me to a thought on religion and relationships.

Awhile back I wrote a post about the Golden Rule.  I wonder if that minister ever read the Islamic version:

"Not one of you truly believes

until you wish for others what you wish for yourself."

-The Prophet Muhammad 

I could list dozens of religions that insist on the Golden Rule, even that FL pastor's religion does.  Obviously he's not following it unless he wants the Bible to be burned. 

However, what it made me think of in relationships was the harm retaliation causes.  It is clear (since the burning is to happen on 9/11) burning the Islamic holy book is retaliation.  As the American commander in Afganistan pointed out, this type of behavior allows extremists to drum up support and act out more.

The same happens in relationships.  When you act in retaliation, you set the ground rules for how your relationship will go.  Each of you can feel justified in tit-for-tat behaviors that only escalate and tear you apart.  Nastiness and sarcasm, silent treatments and acting out- all are symptoms of retaliation.

Your courageous work is to stop retaliating and relate.  Stop feeling self-justified in your retaliatory behaviors.  Chose to fix the problem or confront the issue rather than figuratively stick a knife in your partner.  Do with them what you would like them to do with you- connect.  You will reap what you sow.

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If you notice, another awesome alliteration!
P.S. Read a good article on the Quran here.