My computer borked, now what!

YES! I'm back!

Alright, I'm sorry I haven't posted for three weeks, loyal readers.  My computer died exactly three weeks ago today.  For a week I attempted resuscitation, but it was truly dead. :(  Then the next week I spent time trying to decide what I was going to do to replace it.  This last week has been spent getting the new computer back up to speed (downloading, installing, etc.) and catching myself up.

Blogging and a few other things I used to do regularly fell by the wayside, unfortunately.

You see, I had a habit, a pattern, a way of working which allowed me to get my posts done regularly, but with no computer that was all messed up - it was very borked.  I was using my husband's computer for the bare minimum things.  Blogging wasn't considered a minimum.

Now I have to get back on track with it.

The same happens in your relationship - something happens, you need to change your patterns for awhile, and then you never go back to the healthy things you once did to keep your relationship vital.  Those fun, intimate, connecting things fall away and vanish.

Why would this happen?  Here are some examples:

• You have a kid or children.  You and your spouse focus on their care (which is consuming when they are very young) and do the bare minimum for your relationship.  Even when the kids are grown, you forget how to go back to being a couple.
• One of you starts a business.  Like kids this can be all consuming and the couple-ship falters. 
• A family member (or one of you) becomes sick and requires a large amount of care.  The focus is on this care.
• Any number of things can trip you up and make you lose sight of the things that made the relationship great.  

Now, I'm not saying there won't be times you need to get to the bare bones of life for a time.  That is normal.  However, the change should happen only for a time and you need to remember to cultivate your relationship.  Go back to the things that made your hearts sing, your souls feel warm, and your lives seem to be intertwined.

Your courageous work (and a relationship resolution) is to look at the things you stopped doing some time ago which were loving.  What things connected you two?  What made the relationship great?  Then start doing those things again.  Make time and make it a priority.  Cherish each other.

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