Skydiving, stacking the deck, and your relationship!

As some of you know, I planned to go skydiving last week.  It was my mother's birthday and she wished to skydive to celebrate.  I was all for it; so on Friday we went to the diving school to talk to the owner and instructors.  You see, my mom has a few physical concerns which may have affected her ability to land.

The owner, Tony, and his instructors sat down with and evaluated Mom for a tandem jump.  The general consensus was Mom could make the jump with some added assistance, but we would be smart to wait for the cooler weather in October.  As they explained, cooler air has less bumps and is denser making for a better flight and smoother landing.  Tony said, "I want to optimize everything so with your additional needs there are less chances of you being hurt."  Needless to say, we all agreed.

Tony and his instructors were stacking the deck in Mom's favor.  They were making sure that a smoother landing helped her have a better ride.  They were making sure things were in alignment for success.  They were being smart.

I suggest you be smart and stack the deck in your relationship.  No, not do things that cheat your spouse or partner, but act in such a way as to increase your chance for success in your relationship.

How?  Here are a few suggestions:

• When you have to talk about something important, pick a time where you both can focus. 
• Practice healthy self esteem and boundaries.  
• Really listen to your spouse/partner so you truly get what they are trying to say.
• Eliminate distractions during your talks- no TV, computer, phone, kids, etc.
• Do things you know your spouse likes so they can feel you love them.
• Make sure you say and mean "I love you" regularly (preferably multiple times a day.)
• Use the twelve rules of fair fighting.
• Keep yourself healthy physically, mentally and emotionally.
• Be respectful.

 Your courageous work is to identify how you can increase your chances of success in your relationship.  How can you help yourself and your partner succeed?  What situations (like cooler air) can make your interactions better?  How can you create situations and environments that promote connection?  How can you decrease distractions or things that detract from your relationship?  What skills do you need to practice and remember?  What actions do you need to take?

And keep an eye out, I plan to write about skydiving this coming October!

Click the comment button below and tell us your thoughts!

Don't forget to sign up for my newsletter