I lived that way for a time in college. The "fact" that I was busy or had tons of emergencies to take care of was exciting. It gave me the chance to look and feel important. It gave me reasons to not be available when I didn't want to be. It gave me excuses when I didn't do something I was supposed to do. The crises created intensity and seemed to make my life more interesting.
I finally decided living that way wasn't fun. It definitely wasn't healthy.
First I had to come to the realization I was causing most of the emergencies. Either by procrastinating, being stupid, being unrelational, or just plain letting myself "forget" things I brought many of the problems upon myself. I had the brain and the abilities to live a better way, but the emergencies were a distraction, a way of feeling important or busy. I realized that's all they were.
Then I learned I could feel important in better ways. I could be distracted by healthy things. I could even learn to live with myself rather than distract away from me. I learned to speak up when I didn't want to do something instead of using an "emergency" as my excuse. I learned to say "I'm sorry" when I forgot something and then heal any hurt. I learned to like a calm and interesting life rather than running away from living through intensity.
It wasn't easy; I was used to the hectic style of constantly fixing, but I noticed my life truly improved. I felt better. I had real and wonderful relationships. I could actually relate to others and myself without needing distractions. It was great and I was even more motivated to stop the madness.
So, I ask again, is your life filled with emergencies? Your relationship? Who is creating them? Do you use them as excuses or to feel needed? Is your time filled with "things to fix?" Are you overwhelmed by crisis and then give yourself permission to shut down?
So your courageous work is to honestly look at your life. Are you creating distractions and emergencies in order to avoid? Are you using events as excuses? Are you building a life filled with unreal excitement rather than centered strength and enjoyment? What things can you do to decrease the "emergencies" you experience? (stop procrastinating, use time management techniques, say "No" when you want/need to, etc.)
I have a personal motto from that time in college- it says, "A crisis is only a crisis if you make it one." Stop making crisis.
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