Are you being held back in your relationship?

Are you being held back in your relationship?  Well, it is most likely your fault.

Didn't want to hear that?  Sorry, but it is true.

Here are some common reasons you may not be progressing in your relationships:

1. Dishonesty - If you aren’t honest with yourself and your partner, you’ll never move forward.
2. Negativity - If you are negative all that will happen is the relationship will fall apart.
3. Stagnation - If you aren’t willing to grow the relationship, it will wither.
4. Acting out - If you act inappropriately, no one wants to be personal with you.
5. Disinterest - If you aren’t interested in your partner, they won’t be interested in you.
6. Poor attitude - If you act bored or arrogant to your partner, they won’t like you.
7. Venting without action - If you constantly dump on your partner (and don’t do something to heal things,) they’ll get tired.
8. Selfishness - If you are only focused on what a relationship does for *you* and not in return for your partner, it’s one sided.
9. Lack of goals - If you can’t tell your partner what you want, only that you are unhappy, then you’ll not be able to get what you both want.
10. Lack of skills - If you don’t take the time to learn skills for healthy relating, you’ll obviously stumble at doing so.

These are the types of problems which can lead to divorce, especially if you suffer from multiple ones.

The good news is these issues are fixable.  The bad news is you have to fix them yourself; no one else can do it for you.  Get honest, interested and focus on the relationship not yourself.  Stop venting and being negative and make movement.  Be healthy in your actions and attitude.  Create goals and grow.  Learn skills, theories, and techniques that help you have a healthy relationship (by reading things like this blog or seeing a specialist like me!) 

Your courageous work is to look at the list above and honestly identify which of those things you are doing.  Then take some action to improve them and your relationship.  You change your relationship most by changing how you are in it; I hope you chose to change it for the better!

Click the comment button below and tell me what you think!

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