Discomfort doesn't delay delightful differences

Are you aware how important discomfort is in your relationship?
Are you afraid to let your partner or yourself be uncomfortable?
Do you go to great lengths to make sure everything seems fine?

Then you are making a big mistake.

Discomfort has a message and is a motivator.  If you "save" your loved ones from being uncomfortable, they cannot grow or learn.

Years ago I had a teacher who said, "It is a poor mother who always saves their child."  As a teen I didn't always understand her sentiment, but I knew what she was getting at; she was preaching responsibility.  She was saying children need to see and experience all the consequences of their behaviors and choices.  That is how they learn to survive in the world, and the parent who kept them from this was not doing them a favor.

It took me many more years to understand her statement on a deeper level.

You see, if you are not uncomfortable, you don't make changes.  If you keep your partner from feeling the discomfort of your unhappiness with something, then they have no motivation to change.  If you want your relationship to change you have to feel your discomfort and let your partner feel the discomfort so you both can find the motivation to change. 

Somewhere someone said, "You only change when the pain you are in is great enough to overcome the pain of making the change."  In other words, no discomfort means no change.  It makes sense; why change if you are comfortable?

So your courageous work is to stop "saving" the people around you.  Don't save your children from reasonable consequences for their behaviors.  Don't keep your partner happy when you aren't (because you are destroying your relationship.)  Respect the people around you enough to let them have all their feelings, comfortable or not.  You'll be delighted at the progress you and yours can make by being a little uncomfortable. 

By the way, this is another Alliterative A-Z for Rewarding Relationships- suggest more here!

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