Politeness isn't Pure Poison!

Why is it people seem to have forgotten simple rules of politeness?

I've been lamenting this in the business field for awhile, but it also has crept into personal interactions.  Just the other day someone was supposed to come to our condo, and my husband and I stayed in waiting for her.  She never called or emailed to say she wasn't coming.  Despite the fact she was coming to buy a piece of furniture from us, and she wasn't a friend, it would have been polite to let us know she had changed her mind.  Instead she left us hanging.

It was rude, but all too common.

Lillian Eichler Watson wrote "Don't reserve your best behavior for special occasions. You can't have two sets of manners, two social codes - one for those you admire and want to impress, another for those whom you consider unimportant. You must be the same to all people."

Manners aren't only for those you think are important, they are meant for everyone.  I believe they are most important to use with those we say we care about.

So, how do you make sure you don't treat politeness like pure poison?  Here are a few suggestions:

• Of course, use "Please", "Thank you", and "You are welcome" unfailingly. 
• Greet people appropriately and make sure you recognize when they leave with a nice farewell.
• If you say you are going to do something, do it.
• If you are going to be late or not show, call.  Don't act like it doesn't matter or didn't happen.
• When you are with someone else, think of them.  Example, offer to help someone carrying packages.
• Pay attention to others, and don't talk incessantly about yourself.
• Hold the door for the person following behind you - male or female.
• Avoid swearing or crudeness - that's a way to insult the person you are with (and yourself.)
• Don't interrupt, no matter what you want to say or how important you think it is. (Something I am working on daily!)
• Do not belittle, gossip about, or put others down.  
• Engage your brain before you open your mouth.

Politeness and manners boil down to respect.  As Confucius said, "Respect yourself and others will respect you."  When you are impolite, you show you disrespect not only the other person, but your own self.  This lack of respect is a canker that will eat away at your self esteem and your relationships.

Your courageous work is to identify how you may be acting rude toward those around you and rectify the situation.  Work on being polite in all situations.  If you don't, you may find people avoid you the way kids were taught to avoid Mr. Yuck!

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