Enough is too much! I wanna singa....

The other day I was watching a collection of Loony Toon cartoons, and it was a blast!  There were classics like "What's Opera Doc" ('kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit'!) and some of my favorites.

The one that stands out though, is an older one (1936) about a family of owls.  Pappa Owl is a classical music teacher who hates jazz.  When his children are born all but one appear to be headed toward classical greatness.  The last one is a swinging jazz singer.  Upon learning of their last child's "deformity" Momma Owl faints and Pappa Owl assures her "Don't worry Momma, we'll teach him to sing how we want him to sing."  I won't ruin the rest of the cartoon, but it does have a happy ending.

Why am I writing about cartoon owls?  Well, it struck a cord when I realized I'd tweeted the following quote,

"Patterning your life around other's opinions is nothing more than slavery." 

Lawana Blackwell

You see, the young owl was being expected to pattern his life around another's opinion, and he was trying to follow that expectation.  Despite wanting to "singa" he kept plugging along "singing" appropriately.  How many of you do the same in your relationship?

Do you?

• Have a particular job because it is expected of you (by family, by spouse, by society?)
• Bite your tongue on things you need to say because "if you can't say something nice..."?
• Take whole hog what someone tells you as "the truth" and don't scan for your own truth?
• Act in certain ways because you think your partner or someone else expects it of you?
• Do things, make plans, have goals because they are the expected "way to be"?

As Pappa Owl says "Enough is too much!"  Stop trying to be "enough" for others and be "enough" for yourself first.  This is not selfishness; it is survival.  Just as they tell you on the plane to put on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else, you need to be yourself before trying to fit anywhere else.   


Your courageous work is to define yourself individually and then within your relationship.  Know who you are, and fit that into a healthy relationship with your partner.  You'll both want to "singa."

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Image of Owl Jolson from here.  You can hear him singa there too!