Make 50+ Resolutions this Year- Really!

Happy New Year to everyone! I hope it is an all around healthy, happy, and prosperous year for all of you.

As I sit here on the eve of the first day of the 2010 I can't avoid thinking of resolutions. Make a resolution and stick to it for a year. That's the thing to do today, right? I'm actually not sure it's a good idea.



Why?

Two reasons: 1. the year part and 2. the resolutions part.

Let me discuss the idea of resolutions because it'll help with overall understanding of my reservations about New Year resolutions. So, first you create a resolution (hopefully you carefully craft one.) Then you commit to it, work on it, and follow through. The idea is to stick to it and make something happen- that's what resolve means. Isn't it?

Some major problems:
*What if you make the wrong resolution?
*What if you don't get the result you were hoping for?
*What if it back fires?
*Do you change it and feel like you 'wasted' time on the first one?
*Do you give up because it "didn't work?"
*Do you make up you are now behind?
*Are you stuck with the resolution as it stands because you decided on it?

Many people hold on too tight to their resolutions because they 'should' do it. They resolved to do it, didn't the? Obviously, this rigidness is not helpful or healthy.

Secondly, I have issues with the time frame of a year. A year is a really long time, and it is intimidating. It is way too long to grasp and consider following through on. I know people who struggle with holding a change for a month; heck I know people who struggle with making a commitment stick for a day- let alone a year. It is overwhelming.

Bottom line, you need to make a change in how you view resolutions.

How?

Carefully craft and create flexibly real resolutions for shorter periods of time. I suggest no more than a week for each one. If you think the overall change needs a longer time frame, see if you can break it down into smaller chunks until it fits into a week. Then implement and watch what happens. Give yourself permission to edit and rethink your resolution at the end of the week, or add onto it.

This allows you to 'try on' and alter what you are doing. You can keep doing the things that work for longer than a week, but you don't have to be frustrated doing something that isn't helping. Each week you can be excited by and charged to work on a new or altered resolution. It becomes invigorating rather than overwhelming, and you are still making positive changes.

So, to help you with this courageous work of taking on an exciting resolution each week, I'm going to write weekly about one thing you can do in your relationship. Every Friday I'll introduce a new resolution (since the first is a Friday), and you can try that change on for a week and see how it feels, works, and heals.

This week's resolution? Smile. Yes, simply smile. Smile when you greet your partner. Smile when you are talking on the phone. Smile before you go to sleep at night. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Smile at the other drivers on the road. Smile at the teenager ringing up your groceries. Smile when you ask your partner for something or when they ask you. Smile at your children when you give them a compliment or feedback. Smile as you look at the world.

Simply smile. Make it this week's resolution.