What to do with worry.

Do you worry too much? Does agonizing about the past or fretting about the future keep you up at night? Are you always anxious?

You are not alone. Many people struggle with worry and anxiety, and most feel it is out of their control. However, there are ways you can train yourself to put aside worry for a time.

One of those ways is a worry box. I'll outline how you make and use one in this post- I hope it helps.

1. Chose a box. I have used small shoe boxes, altoid boxes, other candy boxes, battery boxes, and I’ve even made my own boxes. You can buy small interestingly shaped boxes at craft stores as well. I like the altoid boxes because they are small and sturdy enough to fit in a man’s pocket or a woman’s purse to take anywhere.

2. Take time to decorate your box with collage. This is optional, but it makes it personal. It is best to use words/letters/pictures from magazines that have meaning or just appeal to you. If the box is metal, you will need to use decoupage glue you can find at a craft store; it sticks to metals and works with paper as well. Even if you use a paper based box, this type of glue is nice because you can overcoat your finished box to give it a varnished effect. You just use a brush to put glue on the box, put the picture/word on the glue, and you can spread more glue over it to “varnish” it down.

Some words of warning,and I've seen these things happen: do not put collage or glue where the lid needs to overlap on the box, or it won’t close. Do not glue your box closed accidentally if you are decorating the inside or along the outside edge. Don’t use water based markers; they will run in the glue. Let it all dry completely before using.

3. Over the course of the week, when you are worrying, write the worry down and put it in the box. (With the smaller boxes a post-it note works really well for this.) As you write the worry down, tell yourself you are putting it into the box until your predetermined time to worry about it. Then you are to stop worrying about it for that moment. If it comes up, remind yourself it is in your box until later, and refocus on something else.

4. Chose a time during the week when you will allow yourself to worry for a specific amount of time. For example: “On Wednesday at 6pm I am giving myself one hour where I will allow myself to worry about these things.” This makes it easier when you put something in the box; you say, “I’m putting this here until Wednesday.”

5. At your specific time get your box out and do the following. First you sort your papers into three piles: 1) worries, 2) problems, and 3) no longer an issue. A problem is something you can take a step towards doing something about, a worry you can’t do a single thing about, and something that’s not an issue anymore is self explanatory.

6. Discard pile number three- throw them out. You’ll be surprised how many things end up in this pile over time.

7. Take pile number two- the problems. Look at each one and determine one or two simple action steps you will take before the next scheduled worry time. Write them on your to-do list and on the back of the problem itself. Place the little paper back into the box. Do the steps you have identified before your next worry date. At the next date, review what you did and what you can do next. You may find they have changed to a different pile or you want to add another step.

8. Lastly, look at your worry pile. Remember, these are the things you can do nothing about. Now it is time to allow yourself to worry. Take the rest of the hour you have allotted and worry about them. Worry for the whole rest of the time and do nothing else. Stop when the time is up and put the worries back in the box until next week.

9. Continue to use the box to store worries and use your allotted time (no more than an hour each week) to sort and deal with them.

This technique may see simplistic but it is about limiting the time worry takes out of your life as well as about honoring the need or want to worry. It provides a limited time to worry and a structured place and time to do so. Some people are concerned (worried?) they won't be able to limit themselves, but that is the lesson of this technique- you are in control of how you let worry consume you.

Interestingly, clients who have used worry boxes report their overall level of worry begins to decline. They begin to sort worries from problems and addressing problems at the moment. Amazing to them is the day they find they are struggling to worry the whole weekly hour they have given to themselves; worry used to consume whole days!

Today's work: Do you need to limit your worrying? Do others say you are too anxious? Create your own worry box or something similar and begin to take control of your life. Share this post with friends or loved ones who worry too much. Teach your kids how to control worry; it's a great gift.


One warning: Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older (18.1% of U.S. population). Anxiety disorders are serious, and if you think you suffer from one, please see a psychiatrist (who is a specialist in these sorts of things.) The worry box can help, but if you have a chemical imbalance it needs to be addressed.


picture from spaceodissey on Flickr