In a truly healthy relationship there is a genuine sense you support one another. Either of you could say “I know he/she will back me up” or “be there for me.”
Do you have this? Do you give this?
The means there is no violence in the relationships, because any sort of violence destroys trust. By violence I mean physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, financial, or any type of controlling and intentionally hurtful behaviors. This includes no name calling, sarcasm, nastiness, and the like.
Yes, even sarcasm- sarcasm is a form of violence, not humor. Did you know that?
You see, a healthy relationship is a win-win proposition. You both gain and you both give. It is a mutual give and take of ideas, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. You show your respect by listening to each other and clarifying what you don’t understand in a non-judgmental way. This does not mean you have to agree with each other all the time, it means you respect the other feels/thinks a certain way (remember my previous post?)
Rewarding relationships also have a strong component of sharing. You both share physical activities- you do things together. You also share ideas, feelings and thoughts, and discuss them. You share time together, even if it is while doing two different things.
But don't do "parallel" play all the time! That's not fully sharing.
Sharing extends to difficult things like sharing in losses, changes in life, and difficult feelings. You may be supporting the other person through a tough time, but by helping you are sharing.
So it comes back around to support, but mutual support, of course. Sometimes you hold them up, sometimes they hold you up, and many times you walk side by side.
That's a real relationship!
Picture is in honor of Memorial Day; talk about having your back- it's what they do.
It was found at http://tinyurl.com/qh3wvn
It was found at http://tinyurl.com/qh3wvn
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