R-E-S-P-E-C-T isn't just a song

So, what is the basis of a healthy relationship?

There must be respect; also known as admiration, value, and appreciation. This means you have mutual respect inside and out without judgment. It is a three part appreciation. Respect occurs in your head, between the two people, and toward the relationship, too.

Bet you didn't think respect was so complicated. Let's take a look at it.

To start you must be respectful in your own head about yourself and the other person. This initial thinking trickles down like water down the falls. If you are thinking, “He’s so darned dim” or “I’m such a raving idiot” you don't value the other or yourself. If you disrespect this way you often have an attitude which affects the relationship negatively causing muddy and swirling waters.

Haven't you caught yourself with an attitude even if you don't say things aloud?

Next pool in the waterfall is a respect of the other person. You can’t say you admire someone and then tell them they are morally wrong in some way; this clogs the water like decaying leaves. Blame and shame have no business in a healthy relationship either; they show an attitude of contempt. Respect means you can agree to disagree and still value the other person.

This isn't easy, is it? It takes practice to keep the water flowing.

It is also important you appreciate the relationship. This means talking with each other about what it means to be in a relationship, what the guidelines and expectations are, and how you each want to act and react in it. This forms the bed for the stream as it flows onward. Valuing the relationship also means recognizing what is good in it and supporting it. It means appreciating and working on yourself in the relationship.

Today's challenge: Get the water flowing by listen to your inner dialogue; what are you saying? Are you being respectful in your head? Are you disrespectful to yourself or others in your head? Start catching these thoughts and challenging them. It will help you practice overall respect and you'll develop a relationship you can truly appreciate.

(Great picture, eh? I love to hike along this stream, it's so beautiful!)