Thoughts, stories, feelings and your life

Your thoughts define your world. Thoughts form the story you tell yourself. Your story creates the type of world you live in, the types of relationships you have, and the types of feelings you experience.

When I make this point, my clients often state they have no control over their feelings ("they just happen") or how they world is. This is a fallacy and a cop-out.

Let me give you an example. Imagine one day I’m on the computer surfing the net (a not unusual experience.) My husband looks up and asks, “What are you doing?” in a pretty neutral tone. I think, “Oh, he’s questioning whether I’m working on something I need to do. He’s judging me!” I make myself angry about this “fact” (actually a story I made up.) In response to what I have told myself I snap back, “None of your business, why do you want to know?” A grumbling fight ensues. My thought created my story which gave rise to my mood and determined my behaviors.

What if my thought had been different? Rewind the scene. My husband asks me the same question in the same neutral tone and I think, “Maybe he wants to do something.” I’m happy and pleased at the prospect and I answer him pleasantly. “I’m just surfing for writing ideas. Why do you ask?” Whatever his response, I have created a much different world for myself.

It is what I chose to think that makes this happen.

This is a wonderful anonymous prose poem I like to give to clients:

When you change your thinking, you change your beliefs;
When you change your beliefs, you change your expectations;
When you change your expectations, you change your attitude;
When you change your attitude, you change your behavior;
When you change your behavior, you change your performance;
When you change your performance, you change your life!

As you can see, the whole thing starts with a change of thinking. That change gets the whole ball rolling. If you also look closely, you’ll notice the responsibility lies with one person- you.

So the challenge today is to look at how your thinking is coloring and creating your world. Do you like the type of world you are creating for yourself? What few simple changes can you make to your thoughts to change your world?