Relax into your relationship

Most people looking to “make the most of” their time neglect the importance of relaxation. With the fear of never having enough time they burn themselves out. It is important to remember that everyone has the same amount of time: 24hours= 1,440 minutes= 86,400 seconds.

However, why is it that some people seem to get so much more done and are happier?

They use time better, and include relaxing. Investigate successful and happy (some people are successful but not happy) people and you’ll see that they know the importance of slowing down and having fun.

Slowing down also allows you to be more in and do more in your relationship leading to a happier life overall.

Relaxation gives you energy; it is a form of filling your tank, like putting gas in your car. After relaxation you have more energy- even more than after sleep. For example, in one study 5-10 minutes of relaxation exercises lowered the body’s need for oxygen (an indicator of stress) more than twice as much as 5-6 hours of sleep. Relaxation can greatly decrease your overall stress as well as the way you act to individual stressful situations (such as an argument with your partner.)

Why is it important to decrease stress? Let me explain the stress response. Our body/mind/emotions are hardwired to respond a certain way to stress, all humans react this way and have for thousands of years. This is called "flight or flight." This instant response was originally a survival response for the harsh conditions of prehistoric living; however, it no longer functions as one. In fact, it is hurting us, especially in our relationships.

The fight or flight response is often reflected in how you respond to a conflict with your partner. You either shut down or attack, and neither are healthy or useful. If you learn to relax, take a step back, and breathe, you will react much better to your partner.

The easiest way to begin teaching yourself to relax is to practice breathing.

One simple breathing exercise is balloon breathing. Imagine you have a balloon in your belly with the opening at your belly button. Fill the balloon fully & empty it fully. Focus only on the balloon, not other things. Fill and empty at least 5 times. This exercise will encourage you to utilize the full capacity of your lungs & breathe into your stomach as you were created naturally to do.

Do this exercise regularly; in fact, every time you think of it. As you practice it, you will reteach your body how to relax. Then when you are in a stressful situation, you can breath yourself into a more relaxed state. The more relaxed you are, the better you respond, the less likely you are to run or attack, and the more likely your conflict will resolve well rather than badly.

Today's challenge: What is your style? Do you fight or flee? Start to diffuse your stress response by teaching yourself to relax, practice the breathing at least once a day, and breathe when you are triggered to stress.