Can you find Mr. Right in this Fairy Tale? Nope!

One thing that gets in the way of many relationships is unrealistic expectations. The biggest is the belief relationships shouldn’t take work. That is silly, you don’t expect to interview for, get and start a new job then never have to work again. What makes you think you can find, court, and marry someone and not ever work in the relationship again?

Another problem that gets in the way of rewarding relationships is the thought if I pick the “right” person things will be perfect. This idea is reinforced by the “Mr. Right” legend. It is worsened by a belief you can change another person into the “right” person. So you waste time trying to find the perfect mate, alter the person you are with to be perfect, or ending a relationship in the hope the next person will be "right". No one is "right".

The biggest disconnect between what is and what you expect is what I call the “fairy tale marriage” mythos. Somewhere along the way, you internalize the fairy tale line “happily ever after.” Even if you are intelligent enough to realize the untruth of this story, you still hold on to it in many ways. The “Mr./Mrs. Right” myth is one way you stick with the fairy tale. The other way is the belief we should not disagree or fight with our partner. Prince Charming and Sleeping Beauty did not fight, did they? Sadly, this fiction keeps us from admitting two different people can disagree and still have a good relationship. It also leads to relationship breakups.

So the challenge today is to take a good look at your expectations of relationships, partners, and yourself. Where are you off? Challenge that and be more realistic.