Today I said "hello" and "have a good day" to the toll taker on the parkway, and it got me thinking about being "nice". A number of years ago when I took my boss home one evening, I was pleasant to the toll taker (whom I saw every day). My boss looked at me in apparent surprise and said in all seriousness, "You are nice to everyone, aren't you?" I nodded, but was surprised at her question.
Why is it so hard to be nice?
Another example from today. I had stopped at a grocery store to get a few snacks for visiting friends. When I went to exit onto a busy road with people stopping for a light a little way down, most drivers were oblivious to my car waiting patiently to enter. Even though the light was red, and they weren't going anywhere, they all crammed in as close as possible talking on phones, staring straight ahead, or chatting with people in the car. Finally, a nice man in a delivery truck waved me out in front of him. I made sure I waved back at him and mouthed "thank you."
Why is it so hard to be nice?
I thought about it on the drive home, and I came up with one basic idea; we are too wrapped up in ourselves to actually do the simple reaching out niceness needs. Really being nice is about noticing others around you. If you are too focused on yourself, your phone call, your itinerary, or your needs, it is so easy to forgo basic courtesy. But let someone else cut you off or be rude, and immediately their family ancestry is called into question.
So, here's the challenge; be mindful. Be aware of others on a simple level. Be mindful of the chances around you every day to infect the world with nice (not rude.) Really, it doesn't take longer to let that one car out at an entrance, or to say thank you to someone like a toll taker. The ripple of your niceness may reach someone later who really needs it.
What is surprising, is your life will feel nicer overall. Would you rather feel ugly, rude and unhappy, or mindful and pleasant? You decide.
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